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Re-Used Blog...

I was tooling around on my blog and realized I haven't actually gone through to re-read or even review my own personal ramblings... (slightly scared too)

I came across this one and found it interesting yet fitting, and I'm still completely lost in this department. (as with all "life" depts) wish they gave out Life manuals in college.

(Un-Bike Thoughts... 9/9/07

This is what a friend of mine posted and I found it very thought provoking. So I would share it too.

I wish I wrote this....
"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."


share your thoughts...)

I Will Be Back!

If you can't tell... yes my hair is shorter, at this rate I might be bald by the end of the summer! (j/k)

I know my last few blogs have been kind of sad so I wanted to let everyone know... I WILL BE BACK on the BIKE and RACING in 2009 but this season is being put on the back burner. This is the perfect time to get my self completely healed mentally and physically and more stable financially so I can give er' a go in 2009!!!! I won't need the "off season" in the fall so I will work my booty off saving $ for med bills and racing if I can't get on a team that can support me. Kenda has been great though and I hate I was unable to race and represent such an amazing group of ladies that make up the team. I'd love the opportunity to do more journalism maybe write for various websites, papers, mags, etc... about women's cycling and sports/culture in general. My life has been a long roller coaster ride since day 1 and I have NO regrets and luckily I've found positive things in all my setbacks. This injury has actually been a blessing b/c I've realized how important family/friends are and to NEVER take them for granted as long as I live.

Now to get me back on the bike!!!!

Live Your Life with Passion

Here's a little essay I wrote with some amazing quotes from good friends, check out this wonderful site too.

http://www.areyoulivingit.com/liveyourpassion/living-life-with-passion/262/

Facing the Truth...

Please read this article from Four Corners Free Press about women's competitive cycling.
http://www.fourcornersfreepress.com/news/2008/040803.htm

It seems that my "golden" season of sacrificing my career to pursue my passion of racing and goals of racing a solid season to propel me forward in the women's competitive peloton isn't going to happen in 2008. I have come to the realization that in order to be one's best a person must be secure and happy in all aspects of life. It's just too hard to balance this quest with the daunting medical bills that are piling high from my horrific crash. Yes, I will be riding soon and yes I WILL race again but k2 needs to get her finances and life on track. So I'm going to focus on getting a "real" job that I can offer my talents as a trainer or in advertising/marketing like I have for USWCDP and missingsaddle.com. This way I can payoff my med bills and have less stress paying rent, bills, and maybe get a cross bike and race cross for a change! I will be back to racing and who knows what next year can bring about...

It's so hard for women to balance racing/working but as of now our sport still doesn't have the support or sponsors to allow more of us to live off a racers salary. I may not be able to train or race as much as I would like but the new found stability will probably pay off more than anything for my future on and off the bike.

If you want to hire me, let me know! ;-)

For your reading pleasure...

http://www.triplecrankset.com/2008/06/crankset-exclusive-interview-with-kris.html

simplicity

The past few months have been filled with many high and low points, all of which have taught me more than I could ever ask for about myself. People seem to always be "trying to find themselves" or never wanting to grow-up and there's a point in each of our lives where we're faced with hardships that make us face reality. I'm not saying the hard time for me was breaking my pelvis, I'm not saying the hard time was being diagnosed with Crohn's disease 10yrs ago, and I'm not saying the hard time is finding someone who loves me for all my flaws... these are the best times for me because it allows me to really see my inner strength and beauty.

I just got back from a nice slow walk in the scorching southern sun and humidity and took complete pleasure and satisfaction in the fact that I was walking on my own and enjoying the hot sun burning down on my shoulders and feeling the sweat on my brow. It's little things like this that I'm now more aware of, it's as if my senses are heightened and my passion for life itself is reinvigorated. I began to cry because I knew soon I would be able to ride my bike down the road, ride it to the coffee shop where I could hang with good friends, ride up hills, descend and feel the coolness against my face, and because for once I was truly happy. Simplicity is what I want now, less stress over things out of my control, trying to not be so perfect, doing more things that make me happy, and being open to others love and affection. The greatest realization I've come to see over these past 5 weeks is the compassion and love my family has for me. I have always been close with them but being away for almost 10 years has made me a bit selfish and I've taken for granted how important family is to all of us. It's okay to get all mushy and say at my age that I LOVE being with my parents again. At first it was the last place I wanted to go back to because I was so used to being independent and didn't think I needed their help. I was so wrong, it has been their nurturing that has helped me heal and it is their guidance that has made me the person I am today.

I still have many things to figure out for myself dealing with my future but I know no matter what I decide there are people who care for me and will support me no matter if I succeed or fail. With this in mind, I can smile and know my goals and dreams are at my finger tips. I thought the nice clean and simple blog layout represented my new lookout of life. If you actually took the time to read all of this I thank you and can only hope it made a little impact and maybe you even called up a family member.

"Always remember to slow down in life; Live, Breathe, and Learn, take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the least place within your heart."

K2 is NOT a Domestic Goddess...

As you can tell from the top picture I'm still working on my Martha Stewart side of me... this was my attempt to make dark choc. chip cookies from scratch. Seems I left them in the oven a bit too long. I'm actually learning a TON about life by watching some fav TV shows with my mom. She must be determined to "mold" me as a young woman. Let's see I've been watching Ace of Cakes on the Food Network to learn more about baking (they are SO doing my wedding cake, just gotta snag me a dude first) then I'm touching up on my Style by tuning into What Not to Wear. When I get my own place the show Dress my Nest has taught me some great decorating tips. I'm reliving my 18yrs of dance through So You Think You Can Dance, love it! Finally, I'm learning all my parenting (and it's become the BEST form of birth control) by watching TLC's Jake and Kate plus 8... yep, 8 kids... hilarious show but seriously you learn a lot!!!!

I'm not really a couch potato these are just some random shows I enjoy watching and laughing with my mom in the evening.

The other pics are of my mom, dad, and our yellow lab Jeb at our lake house... trying to work on my bike tan lines.

I'm fully walking on my own and hope to be back to CO in a week or so and maybe a lil' bike time out in Dolores, CO with my coach Michael Engleman. The USWCDP is cranking up some great things and I'm excited to get back to work with the program too.

Cheerios

k2

Crutch burning PARTY!!!!

yep, I'm officially walking on my own. There's SO much that has been going on in my life and I'll catch y'all up soon but thought I'd spread my JOY real quick. After 5 LONG weeks, NO MORE CRUTCHES... Whoo Hoo!

Pics like I promised...

Here's a pic of my lovely sister Candice after Graduation!

I'm hanging out waiting for my personal taxi at the harbor...
Leg shot while I'm being lazy on the porch soaking up some rays.

Congratulations Candy-am!

Here's a shout out to my lil' sister Candice Keim who just graduated from Towson University in Baltimore, MD with her Graduate Degree in Speech Language Pathology. The ceremony was this morning and after that we spent the day on the harbor. My sister celebrated with a HUGE cheesecake and then we hit up the new Indiana Jones movie, which I highly recommend!

I'll get some pics up soon, promise.

Congratulations Candice, I'm one proud big sis.

tick, tick, tick

That's how I feel about how hard it is sleeping on my back for the last few weeks... it's brutal. I'm naturally a side sleeper in a fetal position but there is no way I can sleep on either side with my injuries and it's killing me. I've been suffering from headaches and it's just flat out un-natural and horribly uncomfortable. Sorry to be a "debbie downer" but its just reality. All my road rash is healed and I'm now going to have an attractive scar across my left leg to accompany my other cycling tattoos. ;-) I'm still glued to the crutches and becoming less tolerable of them by the minute. I'm not an easy patient... the inactivity is messing with my "sanity" for sure. Though I am happy for some of my friends and teammates who are doing well at Mt. Hood and I have a nice outlet for unleashing my anger... thanks new pen pal.

I went shopping with my mom and sis and got a nice summer blouse (new clothes brighten the spirit) that I'm wearing to a little gathering at our lake house at Lake Murray in SC. I was somewhat dreading the trip but I know the extra dose of vitamin D will aid in bone recovery... hahaha it will be nice to be social and who can pass up fresh caught baked fish, shut up dogs, and who knows what other goodies?!

I'm also hooked to a new book, I can't hardly put it down...

off to the lake

k2

#1 Recovery Tip: get dolled up for a girl's night out!

After a doctor's appt. I went and got a great new haircut. My sister got into town so we HAD to get pimped up for a girl's night out for dinner, first time I've really been "out" in 2 weeks. I've learned to crutch no handed too... who knew crutches were the new "hot" summer accessory of the season? hahahaha If you notice my necklace it's from http://www.rejuvenationgifts.com/, thanks Mary. It says Patience and Strength. word.

Not 1, not 2, but 3

I just returned from my orthopedic surgeon visit and I finally got someone to sit me down and explain the full extent of my injuries which included some new surprising news... k2 did break her pelvis, no surgery but there are in fact 3 fractures. One by the sacrum and 2 more near the pelvic area. It's scary to think how many doctors saw my x-rays and missed 1 or even 2 of these fractures!!!! Says something about today's health care, huhhh?

The best thing is that I now have peace of mind and a nice prescription for percoset, my percoset buddy recommended a nice cup of joe to aid in this recovery remedy too. thanks Thor

Things have been busy though I swear all I've been doing is resting and sitting on my booty. Recovering is a full time job of watching all 3 Indiana Jones movies (brush-up for when the new one comes out next week!) all 3 original Star Wars, eating good ol' home cooking like taco soup, cheez-it chicken, home grown veggies, and tons of ben and jerry's! The weather knocked out our power and Internet for a few days so I thought I was going to crack not having access to a computer but I'm learning the fine art of enjoying time away from "daily distractions." I've been able to even just sit outside to ponder over things I never take time to think about, read, and appreciate spending quality time with my mom, dad, and our yellow lab Jeb who is scared to death of my crutches... hilarious.

I'm still on the crutches and in some pain but the worse thing is that I can only sleep on my back (I'm a side sleeper) and yes, not being able to train/race is finally taking a toll. I'm 2 weeks into my recovery and my mind/body are aching for activity but I am determined to be good and let everything heal so I can KILL IT on the bike in 6-8 weeks!

hope to get pics up soon of my "recovery retreat"
k2

it's not looking good

I just got the results from my second opinion...

I have 2 fractures of the pelvis one on the pubis and one around the sacrum area which explains the pain in my left booty cheek and it is pinching my sciatic nerve. The scary thing is that the hospital told me it was one fracture and that I Should be trying to walk! Well now the new doctors (specialists in pelvic injuries and cycling patients) say I should NOT be walking and no weight bearing activities, shit. Now I might have done more damage...

I'm actually afraid for the Tecos rider who is at the same hospital, he needs to be moved asap.
http://www.velonews.com/article/75907/latest-report-fausto-esparza-munoz-who-crashed-in-the-tour

Now I am trying to get in to see the orthopedic doctor in Denver before heading to SC. It's scary to think that I have possibly made things worse but that is why 2nd opinions are always good to get. sheesh.

Like I said before, one day it's Good and the next it's Bad. k2 needs a lucky ducky a good luck charm or something... some laughs would help too.